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juliepkehl

My Enneagram Journey: Personal Growth, Understanding Relationship Dynamics & Helping Others

Updated: Jan 14

How I Learned About The Enneagram


I first heard about the Enneagram the summer of 2018 when I was at a summer camp with my daughter and someone mentioned it as a helpful tool for developing self-awareness. I was excited that Fall when a small group that I was in decided to study it. I was interested in learning about it since many people seemed to use it as a way to help them understand the important people in their lives.




Finding My Type and Growing With New Tools

I learned that the Enneagram is a personality typing system that maps out 9 different personality types with three types that process life from the gut intuition, three types that process life from the heart and three types that process life from the head or with analytical thinking. I felt that I was most likely a person who processed life with my heart so my next step was to figure out which of the 3 heart types I identified with the most. I next learned that a person's type is determined by the core motivations behind their behavior so that helped to narrow it down a bit more. After trying to figure it out on my own, I finally decided to take an Enneagram test that showed the percentage I scored for each type. My highest score was a Type 2 which is called "The Helper" and the description of that type in more ways than one felt like the right fit to me. As I read about the Type 2, I began to realize new insights about myself and why I do the things that do. I also found that as I learned about all the others types, I was able to understand the people in my life in a deeper way.


After learning about the Enneagram for a couple of years through books and online courses, I decided to begin the process of becoming an Enneagram coach since I saw the potential of how the system could help a person to not only understand themself better, but also the significant people in their life. The process required me to have my own coach and start doing personality work before I could be entrusted to help others. Through my sessions I began to learn how to become less emotionally reactive by using my head (objective thinking) and my gut (becoming grounded in the body) and not just my heart when dealing with issues or making decisions. I also learned to become more aware of the personality patterns that can derail me and how to get back to a grounded place. I found that the knowledge that I learned really helped me become more balanced in my personality in many different ways.


The Enneagram Helps Relationship Dynamics


Over time my family members were able to figure out their Enneagram types and we began to understand how to communicate better with one another. As a heart type, I realized how differently I processed life from the rest of family who were all head types. This knowledge helped me to recognize personality patterns and have new insights in knowing how to relate to each family member better.


The Enneagram Offers Tools To Help Become Internally Balanced


I like to refer to this Enneagram Coaching venture as my "empty nester passion project" since I get so much joy out of helping people gain clarity in life through understanding the way that they are wired and then working with them to create more balance in their personality. There is one thing that I have found to be true for all people and that is that a person's strengths can also be their weaknesses and this causes personality blindspots in their life. For instance, my desire to be helpful as a Type 2 can turn into being overbearing or even enabling others. It works in a similar way like this for all 9 types. Everyone is dominant in a way of processing the world that seems right to them but it isn't necessarily balanced. Becoming balanced means having a clear mind, calm emotions and a grounded body and the process for getting there is different for each Enneagram type.


The Enneagram is Different Than Other Typing Systems

The Enneagram is different from other personality typing systems in that it doesn’t just put a person in a box according to their type but it helps them know how to get out of the box that they are already in to find freedom from habitual responses and be able to choose new ways of being in the world. Because of the way that this system has benefited me, it is my desire to help people develop greater self-awareness and become more balanced in their personality through using the tools of the Enneagram. I think it's such an illuminating process to learn about the internal drives and patterns of your personality and to come to know yourself and others in a deeper way. If you are interested in this kind of personality work, I would love to come along side of you to help you learn more about this amazing system.


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